we have a big pride month problem this year. it’s not the one you think.
By all means, we should celebrate—but we’ve got to be smarter about this.
Queering the Burbs is a distillation of pop culture, politics and queerness published twice weekly by Joe Erbentraut. If you like what you see, please consider subscribing (many posts are free!), liking or sharing this piece, checking out my zines and merch, or buying me a coffee.
Every year around this time of May, I start to feel panicky as the event invites for June begin to pile up relentlessly.
According to a graphic compiled by local PFLAG chapters, during the first weekend of June alone the Chicago metro area will be playing host to Pride events in Highwood, Park Ridge, Downers Grove, Elgin, Niles, Crystal Lake, Buffalo Grove, Kankakee, Lombard, and St. Charles. During the second weekend, Pride events will be taking place in Oak Park, Wheaton, Aurora, Homewood-Flossmoor, Grayslake, Evanston, Beverly-Morgan Park, and Andersonville. The third weekend features Pride gatherings in Vernon Hills, Schaumburg, DeKalb, Des Plaines, Elmhurst, Round Lake Beach, Whiting, and Lakeview. And the final weekend of Pride Month features events in Tinley Park, Yorkville, Plainfield, Batavia, and Skokie—all on top of the main event, the Chicago Pride Parade in the city’s Lakeview neighborhood.
That’s more than 30 Pride events taking place in the Chicago area next month—and that number doesn’t include the dozens if not hundreds of other events that tend to pop up over the course of the month in addition to the many always-on, year-round events, nor the many Pride flag raising and Pride Month proclamation events that have exploded throughout the region in recent years.
On the one hand, this is wonderful news. The more Pride the better, right? I cannot blame anyone for feeling this way. The strides in queer visibility that have been made during Pride Month and beyond over the past decade—particularly in the more far-flung areas of our state—have been massive. There are more opportunities than perhaps ever before for queer and trans folks to find community even if they don’t live surrounded by queerness in the heart of a gayborhood, and there are many hard-working, dedicated folks we have to thank for this.
But just beneath the shiny surface of this plethora of Pride, I can tell you that there are a lot of queer and trans folks who are exhausted right now. It’s beyond burnout and many of us simply don’t have it in us to spend every waking moment of June in celebration mode. Frankly, we’re just not in the mood.
If you’re the sort of person who counts on making a decent chunk of their living during Pride Month and that living depends on people actually showing up for these events, this proliferation of queer events can have the adverse effect of meaning that any one individual event that you partake in—as an entertainer, a speaker, a DJ, or a vendor, etc.—will have a much harder go at being a successful affair for everyone involved. This includes the many volunteers who pour their blood, sweat, and glitter into making them happen. I’m afraid there simply aren’t enough Pride-going folks to go around when there are this many events competing against each other to earn a spot on our collectively strained Google calendars.
It’s not just me feeling it this year. I’ve heard chatter from a number of local Pride event organizers say that everything from registrations and ticket sales to sponsorships and donations are down this year, and the overwhelming sentiment of the stakeholders in these events is pure exhaustion.
I saw this happening last year too. I released the second edition of my zine last summer and held or took part in several events timed to its launch. The response to these events was pretty muted. At a downtown Aurora event featuring myself and several other queer artisans and authors the same day as the Aurora Pride Parade, crowds cleared out from the area almost immediately after the parade ended and nobody made many sales that day. A few weeks later, at a Batavia business, only a dozen or so folks turned out to the zine’s official launch event.
It’s not just the economy of course, but that’s playing a big part in this. The price of everything has gone up and we’re all feeling it. And when it’s suddenly more expensive at every turn of your daily routine—from the gas pump to the grocery store and beyond—this alone is enough to make anyone feel strained, especially if you were already having a hard time making ends meet. And research has consistently shown that queer and trans folks are especially at risk of experiencing food insecurity and other economic hardships, as I’ve previously explored.
The political environment also can’t be downplayed here. The federal push against DEI efforts has caused many corporations to obey in advance and pull back in their support for LGBTQ+ causes like Pride as well as other initiatives deemed as “DEI.” Meanwhile, the political climate means that more Pride and LGBTQ+ events are experiencing right-wing pushback, which also means that some queer and trans folks might (understandably) feel less safe partaking in them.
Just look at what’s happening in Downers Grove in west-suburban DuPage County right now. A small group of local residents are currently calling on the Downers Grove Village Council to refuse to proclaim June as Pride Month for the first time in five years. One of them, Republican state representative candidate Laura Hois, said Pride is “divisive” and has “gone too far” in the suburb. Another resident, Eileen Bryner, went as far as to say that Pride celebrations are “discriminating” against non-LGBTQ+ people and harmful to children.
This is the hateful vitriol that our community continues to face, and all too often our community is forced to face these attacks more or less alone. Many allies love the excitement of coming to a Pride parade to wave a flag and partake in the celebratory atmosphere, but how many of those same allies are willing to take the time to sign up to speak in defense of LGBTQ+ people at a city council meeting, or show up to support the community at the flag raising ceremonies that have come under active threat? I can tell you that it’s not nearly as many.
Meanwhile, many of us in the community continue to feel the pull to help spread the spectacle of Pride Month—often at a very high cost, both financial and emotional—at the same time we are coming under attack. By the end of the month, it’s easy to feel like a deflated rainbow balloon.
It’s all too much, and it’s why I’ve chosen to partake in an increasingly limited array of community events during Pride Month. This year, I’ll be speaking again at the Batavia Pride flag raising on June 1. Beyond that, my personal celebration of Pride Month will be something much smaller and quieter. It’ll look like movie screenings and gay guy music video nights with my chosen family. It’ll look like a trip into Chicago to see one of my favorite punk bands. It’ll look like some time spent in the garden or on a long walk around the neighborhood with friends.
If you’re a queer artist, author, or activist and any of this resonates, I encourage you to do the same. Opt in to the events that make you feel like your full fierce self, and opt out of everything else. We as queer and trans folks don’t owe anyone anything anytime—and especially not during Pride Month. And that very much includes not burning ourselves out for the sake of contributing to a festive scene for performative allies to get content for their social media feeds. We’ve got to take care of ourselves first.
If you’re a Pride event organizer, I’d encourage you to give your work a long hard look and ask yourself some potentially difficult questions. We might have to put our egos aside for these:
Is this event right-sized for your community?
Does it really need to be a parade or street festival?
Is it over-relying on the work of volunteers who don’t really have the bandwidth?
Does this event have a proper security plan in light of the increased risk of attendees being targeted?
Is there an opportunity to partner with another event to combine forces?
Are your efforts better served simply supporting that other event?
Are you able to fairly compensate the queer artists or performers you’re relying on to pull this event off?
Are the donors just not there this year?
Does this event even have to happen in June at all?
Maybe the event just needs a year off?
If you’re organizing an event and you feel like you’re banging your head into a wall trying to make it a success, there’s no shame at all in canceling or postponing it, and telling folks to head to an alternative event instead. Especially at a time like this.
For allies, I am begging you to remember that the origins of Pride are in protest. If queer people where you live are under threat (and they probably are), please take a step outside of your comfort zone and show up for them. Reach out to the members of your local city council and thank them for flying a Pride flag, because they’re probably hearing from plenty of folks who are saying just the opposite. Show up for your town’s Pride flag raising. If the bigots are coming to your town’s city council meeting, you should show up too—in your Pride gear—and speak from the heart about why this community matters to you. If your town doesn’t recognize Pride Month or raise a Pride flag, you should ask them why they don’t and encourage them to reconsider. We love seeing you at the Pride Parade, but your attendance and participation in the above ways, arguably, makes a much bigger impact.
None of this is meant to diminish the hard work that so many people engage with in order to make Pride Month a magical time in the Chicago suburbs and beyond. I don’t think any queer or trans person will forget their first Pride event they went to—the feelings of joy, excitement, and even disbelief that so many people had come together to celebrate a community in a way you probably couldn’t have even imagined. But none of that is worth it if the queer and trans folks helping to make it all happen are doing so in a way that is making them suffer, and I think it’s time that we as a community have an honest conversation about this.
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OF NOTE
Got some queer news relevant to the Fox Valley and surrounding area to share? Reach out in the comments or you can shoot me an email at queeringtheburbszine@gmail.com.
As noted above, the Downers Grove Village Council is facing pushback over its Pride Month proclamation this year. If you live in or near Downers Grove, you can attend the council’s next meeting on Tuesday, May 19 to express support for the town’s support of Pride. In the meantime, you may also reach out to the council’s membership to also express your support for the community.
The Batavia Boardwalk Shops are now open, and they feature multiple queer-owned businesses this year. I recently interviewed the owners of one of them, Bad Luck Club.
Aurora Pride is holding a logo contest for its new official T-shirt design, and there is a $300 prize for the winner. Submissions are due by Friday, May 15.
SONG OF THE RIGHT-NOW
Women have been releasing so much excellent music lately that it’s hard to keep up with all the incredible new albums to enjoy. One of them I am especially loving is Honey Dijon’s new-ish album The Nightlife, especially her collab with the equally brilliant Rochelle Jordan. Their track is called “Private Eye” and it is a smooth, breezy affair with afterparty energy. I’m so glad these two came together to deliver us this little club-ready morsel.
Give me your information
And I will give you a key (Oh)
A private conversation
Is something you can have for free (Oh)
Yeah, yeah
This is great to see but yes overwhelming! As a Wheaton resident I'm always thrilled when the local community comes together but this is too much to even consider being a part of. Maybe an event just for the western suburbs?
🦦🦦🦦🦦🦦🦦🦦