yes, not showering is (rich, cis, able-bodied) white nonsense.
There’s a lesson buried in this nonsense celebrity news story that won’t quit.
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In case you’ve been focusing your media diet more on far more pressing developments in the world like the devastating earthquake in Haiti, the collapse of the Afghan government or the chilling new UN climate change report in recent days, let me catch you up to speed on an inarguably trivial story that I’m (unfortunately) far more qualified to opine on.
Apparently (many of the) Hollywood elite simply aren’t showering or bathing themselves or their kids all that often. It all started last month when power couple Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis commented on their celeb pal Dax Shepard’s podcast that they typically don’t bathe their kids until they can “see their dirt on them” and Kutcher said he personally only washes his armpits and crotch every day. Shepard and wife Kristen Bell apparently take a similar approach to personal hygiene.
The quote was picked up a couple weeks later by all sorts of major news outlets, and almost immediately, celebrities picked up on the trend and decided to take sides themselves. For his part, Jake Gyllenhaal told Vanity Fair that “more and more I find bathing to be less necessary, at times” and that not bathing is “really helpful for skin maintenance, and we naturally clean ourselves.” Terry Crews (who is no stranger to having shitty takes on the world) agreed and said in an interview with Access Hollywood: “If you ain’t been sweating, you don’t need to shower.” For their part, follow-up coverage from outlets like Vogue have identified other a number of stars like Brad Pitt and Robert Pattinson as previously self-identifying among the proudly un-showered. Meanwhile, Kutcher and Kunis seem to be taking the “controversy” in stride and posted a satirical video addressing the topic on Instagram last week.
On the other side of the debate, for what it’s worth, a dream team of beloved celebrities has also assembled themselves in support of basic personal hygiene:
The fact that this celebrity showergate has become a multi-week, ongoing news story is a bit baffling to me, as is the question of how these celebrities seem to have all come up with a similar approach to showering all on their own (and it also makes me deeply uncomfortable how closely the language these celebs use in defense of not showering resembles the language many unvaccinated Americans are using right now to defend not getting a vaccine, but more on Chet Hanks later). So where did it all come from? I think one reporter deserves credit (or blame?) for popularizing the trend:
Last year, during the height of the pandemic, James Hamblin released a book called Clean: The New Science of Skin. Years earlier, Hamblin’s popular article for The Atlantic detailed his personal decision to mostly stop showering. In the essay, Hamblin (who is also a physician, it should be noted) argued that showering uses a lot of water, takes a lot of time, costs a lot of money (thanks to the rising price of cosmetic products) and disrupts our skin’s microbiome by decimating microbes that actually protect our health. The new book zoomed out from Hamblin’s viral hit, and won him glowing coverage from NPR, The Guardian, The Wall Street Journal and more.
But there is a crucial caveat to Hamblin’s argument that I think is flying over the heads of the Gyllenhaals and Kutchers of this world. In response to the uproar, the author tweeted an excerpt from the prologue of his book which noted that because he is a young, relatively wealthy white man who can pass as healthy and, thus, carries a lot of privilege into the world — privilege that allows him to be perceived as “competent” and “professional” even when un-showered or not well groomed.
Hamblin expanded on this in an interview with Kelly Conaboy for the (recently relaunched) Gawker, pointing out that “what celebrities do for their skin doesn’t necessarily work the same way for everyone.” Hamblin continued:
“Especially for people who live in constant stress, maybe who have to work night shifts or live in food deserts or don’t have reliable, safe housing. If those same people got plopped into mansions with chefs and just a few Zoom calls a day, they might also notice that all they need to do is just splash some water on their face and it looks fine.”
Issues like class, race, gender, sexuality and body size are inextricably linked to our perceptions of cleanliness, and if you haven’t lived one of those marginalized experiences, it can be easy to lose sight of these realities.
I’ll never forget in high school how I would purposely try to avoid over-exerting myself in gym class because, as a closeted gay kid with a chubby body, I was afraid of what might happen were I to shower alongside my classmates in the locker room. Instead, I always tried to sign up for the latest gym class period in the day that was possible, applied extra deodorant and vacated the locker room after class as quickly as humanly possible.
After high school, when I worked at a pizza restaurant, I would sometimes turn down social invites if I knew I wouldn’t have time to stop home and shower before going to a party or movie night, because I knew that my clothes, hair and skin all smelled like cheese and grease. I was already an awkward, shy queer boy and didn’t want to add “smells like butter” to my list of things I had to overcome. Instead, I’d head to the video rental store and pick up another B-list horror movie or foreign art film to keep me company that night.
In college, I noticed how certain students would seemingly roll out of bed and go to class in a never-changing uniform of a hoodie, sweatpants and flip-flops. Rightly or wrongly, as a queer fat person, I felt that I’d never be seen as intelligent or taken seriously were I to turn up in similar attire. I always came to class showered, groomed, wearing actual pants with no exposed toes.
So, sure, maybe Hamblin and other medical professionals are onto something when they argue that many people these days probably are showering too much. And it’s clear that the pandemic has also played a big part in furthering the trend along. But let’s not forget that there is a privilege to going out into the world feeling totally comfortable not presenting your best self. For many of the people you know and love, that’s something we never get the freedom to feel.
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BRING ON THE LINKS (what I’m reading, watching, listening to and thinking about this week):
Y’all! I’m sorry for the lack of newsletter last week! Husband and I took a day drive to visit some friends up in Madison that took it out of me a bit and, to be frank, I didn’t have an essay in me. As I sit here consumed by what will happen on tonight’s season finale of the brilliant The White Lotus on HBO, here’s what I got for ya this week:
Apparently there was a “demon twink” aboard a Britney Spears-themed boat party in NYC late last month and I’m personally crossing my fingers that A24 buys the film rights to this tweet. And while we’re talking about tweets, someone already went ahead and created a trailer for the non-existent-for-now movie (starring Troye Sivan):
I’m so grateful that the New York Post was immediately on top of the story of how celebrity chef Sandra Lee reacted to news that her ex, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, had resigned from office amid his sexual harassment scandal. Lee, who the Post notes is “still in France with handsome new boyfriend Ben Youcef” is reportedly supremely annoyed that Cuomo took credit for signing into law the marriage equality legislation that she pressed him to act on. Whew, I need “two shots” of vodka.
Chet Hanks, the son of early celeb Covid cases Tom Cruise and Rita Wilson, went on an unhinged anti-vaccine rant posted to his Instagram account, and then double downed on his “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” take, saying in a follow-up post that “I have the right to not get that shit.” Every family has a Chet. Don’t be your family’s Chet.
You want to know who’s on the right side of history when it comes to the Covid-19 vaccine? Arnold Schwarzenegger has not been mincing words of late, telling those who say the vaccine violates their personal freedoms that “you have the freedom to be a schmuck.” We have no choice but to stan.
King Princess is apparently a huge (former New York Housewife) Dorinda Medley fan and declared as such on an incredibly chaotic appearance on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live show last week. The unlikely duo also shot this Instagram video, which I’ve already looped an estimated 20 times.
Apparently the State Street Target in downtown Chicago is now blowing up on TikTok as “goth Target.” Admittedly, I’m having a hard time reconciling this store’s newfound viral fame with the fact that is also.. just a decent place to use the bathroom in the Loop without feeling pressure to buy another iced coffee.
The fantastic and fantastically underrated comedy The Other Two is about to return to HBO Max (on August 26!) and a season two trailer just dropped. Among many other things, this show is Molly Shannon at her very best, so you won’t want to miss out.
Have you been staying up late at night reading up on the latest Havana syndrome developments? Just me? OK. So, according to the latest update published by the New York Times, investigations into the syndrome — which consists of otherwise-unexplained headaches, memory loss and dizziness that a number of U.S. diplomats, spies and their families have been experiencing abroad in recent years — have reached the top level of the federal government, but a definitive source of the mysterious illnesses befalling these officials remains unidentified. Intrigued? You’re truly my people. The New Yorker also recently explored the phenomenon, which is a real-life Unsolved Mystery unfolding in real time with potentially massive impacts to international relations.
There’s been a ton of buzz around the re-emergence of pop-punk music and aesthetics among the Gen Z set of late, and this elder millennial is loving it. Admittedly, I’ve even pulled ye olde studded belt out of the closet in solidarity with the younger generation’s rediscovery of the vibes of my youth. One of my favorite younger pop-punk bands, the Florida band Meet Me @ the Altar, just released a new EP (Model Citizen) on Fueled By Ramen and it’s a perfect late summer bop that I’m sure will also sound great on the Riot Fest stage next month.